Monday, September 01, 2014

Manna

In the light of Brad's recurrence of cancer, and his remarkable open-ness about it, I have been getting private messages.  "How are you?"  "You must be so ..." "I can't imagine how ..."

So I thought I'd talk about myself a bit, for those kind enough to have asked, even though it is Brad who is sick.  (although you'd never know it.  One evening last week he cycled 22 km for the fun of it.  Not on purpose - he just kept going until it was dark, and then thought maybe he should turn around and come home.)

Last Sunday in church, the pastor talked about manna, the bread that covered the ground six out of seven mornings for the forty years the children of Israel wandered in the desert. (check out Numbers 11:7-9)  There was a catch though - if the Israelites gathered more manna than they needed for just that day, it would grow moldy and maggoty and have to be thrown out.   (Except for the day before the Sabbath - that day they could collect twice as much).

Enough for just that day.

I've decided that if there's a chance I'm going to be a single mother in my mid-50s, it might be beneficial to gather up the transcripts from my scattered attempts at post-secondary education, take them to a university and see what it would take to get a degree.  There's jobs out there I could do that I can't even apply for because I don't have a Bachelor's degree, jobs where they don't even really care what kind of degree you have, just that you have one.

So spending the last week and a half talking to various universities and settling on two University courses for the fall (one by correspondence.  I don't always have to knit!) - that's enough for today, wheras trying to figure out what job I'll get when I'm done, thereby proving to myself ahead of time that this is a good idea?  That's bread I don't need to gather yet.

Staying in bed fifteen minutes longer in the morning to stroke my sleeping husband's back because he is still there with me, allowing sorrow to move through me?  Manna.  Looking forward to the gut-slicing wrench of losing him on this earth?  More than I need for today.

Please pray that for all of us.

Manna.