Saturday, October 26, 2013


I just came online to talk about doorknobs and then I noticed that in my list of blogs that I routinely do not post to with the same regularity with which I do not post to this one (I'm a writer.) it says "Accidental Poet.  1002 posts."

I missed a milestone.  My 1000th post.  A quick scrolling shows that it's the one in which I talk about laughing so hard I almost passed out at my sick husband. 

Moving on ...

Apparently, sometimes, if all the "blue" jobs in the house except "Haul yourself out of bed and put in some billable hours" suddenly become the wife's job (please note.  I AM NOT COMPLAINING.  The number of billable hours Brad is able to put in, sick as he is, is a Godsend and a miracle and I am beyond grateful.  I'm also learning things) ...where was I?  Blah blah blah ...wife's job, oh right!  Apparently if all the blue jobs suddenly become yours (if you are the wife), your doorknobs will begin to fail. 

First it will be the deadbolt on the back door which is very very like a doorknob, so let's not quibble.  Things need to turn or you don't get in the house.  When that one died, way back in August, it was not possible to lock the back door of the house that one night.  The back door of the house that backs onto the park, where anybody can just walk up your back steps ...oh yes it can happen.  Happened to the next door neighbours just a few years ago.  Someone climbed in their open window and then there was a large growling dog in their face and they climbed right back out. ...okay.  Couldn't lock the back door.  Was terrified.  Laid awake all night listening to imaginary sounds.  Found a locksmith to fix the deadbolt the very next day, only the deadbolt wasn't fixable and I had to buy a new deadbolt and bring it home and make it fit and lo and behold, it worked.  Still works, even, and it's been months.

So last night  I tried to get in the house from the garage after work and the doorknob would turn but the thingy wouldn't retract. I was a touch miffed.  Brad did magic things with a kitchen knife and so I thought it was fixed until mmmmmph oclock this morning, when the recently-reached-the-age-of-majority offspring attempted to get in the house via the garage.

So I went out and bought another one and installed it.  It didn't even take a whole hour.  Most of the time was spent realizing that the screw wasn't turning because it was the wrong screw, not because I was too weak.

So that's another new skill on my list.

I haven't counted how many doorknobs there are left in this house, and I'm not going to.


Violet N. said...

Congrats on 1002 posts and on your new skills! When you figure out how to tighten a tacky kitchen tap lever (relatively new Moen, but behaves like a piece of junk), let me know. My hubby isn't sick, but these things don't get fixed anyway.

Bob Laws said...

Congratulations. 1000 posts is quite a milestone - At 14, I'm jealous!