Saturday, August 17, 2013

How we are held

Who told us we'd be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We're asking why this happens?
It's unfair.

This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.

From the song "Held", recorded by Natalie Grant

Bill comes to the hospital the day of Brad's surgery, stays with us all day, helps me talk to the surgeon, buys me breakfast and then lunch.  When Brad is finally in his room at the end of that interminable day, a friend I haven't seen in much too long calls with an offer of supper, which she brings up to the room so we don't have to leave him.

Our pastor comes to the hospital, comes again.

Church friends come and pray.

Bill is there, and there again, and there again.

Brad's sister drives a thousand miles to be with us, helps us all feel somewhat normal.  Sits with Brad and looks at pictures and talks about exposure and light and f-stops when I cook, offers to make dinner the day it's all too much for me.

Food shows up, at our doorstep, in our freezer.

Friends come from Edmonton and spend the weekend working in our house, our yard, cleaning the garage, weeding the garden, listening and loving.

Email comes pouring in - people who are sorry, who are as stunned as we are, who want to help, who just want us to know they care.

And it all makes such a difference, in the middle of the night when I wake up to watch him sleep because he is here, he is still here.  In the middle of the night when the world is quiet and still, I feel them, like wings, like the breath I struggle to draw in against the fear, the prayers and good wishes and good deeds and tears you are all sending up for us, and to us, and breathing over us.

Thank you.


CC said...

YES...that is it. HIM, holding you!

Michele Henderson said...

Know that I'm here in Colorado thinking of you and praying.