Saturday, September 22, 2012

How it is today

So there was a time, shortly after my Dad died, that I looked around the house, at the food and the flowers and the endless stream of relatives and friends coming to share a few minutes or hours with us, my brother a solid rock in the midst of it all, my mother and I hanging on with our fingernails, and I thought "Okay, look.  We're all being really good sports here.  We're trying hard to make it through each day, and for the most part, we are doing it, and we are doing it together.  So can this be over now?  Cause the path forward hurts.  So maybe let's agree we've done a good job of this dry run, and we'll wake up tomorrow and Dad will still be here."

That's how it is with the whole therapy thing.  I think I'm trying really hard to cope with some really difficult things that are coming up.  I think I'm doing a really good job of putting one foot in front of the other, and not giving in to despair.

So even though it's already 5:30 in the morning, and the night is nearly over, I'd like to go to bed now, and wake up tomorrow, and have it all disappear while I'm sleeping.

Is that so much to ask?


darien said...

"Do or do not", said Yoda, "There is no try"....

ESPECIALLY when it comes to coping

Carolyn said...

All I know is that you keep putting that next foot forward, and hang on to God's hand n' heart and He will get you through!