Thursday, July 28, 2011

har.

So I was talking about my job with some family members the other day, and talking about the younger child.

"She likes things to be in the right place", I said, "and has been known to smack me, if it's near nap time and I won't put my glasses back on."

"I could use one of those", my SIL said.  "A short angry person who follows me around smacking me when I don't put things away."  She paused. "A Clean Up Dwarf."

***
At Mom's the other day, I was clipping her nails when she shrieked in pain.  After counting her fingers, I consoled her.

"If you bleed to death, you'll go straight to heaven." I said.

She fake-glared at me. "Yeah and you'll go straight to hell!"

***
I bought a new dress for my nephew's wedding, and was extremely pleased that it didn't cost me an arm and two legs.  I tend to chat about things I'm excited about, until my entire family walks around with cotton balls in their ears, nodding in my direction, fake smiles on their faces.

The same day I bought the dress, we had a false alarm at our place while we were out and we came home to find the police there and the alarm blaring.  The police had already checked the house.

I walked into the living room and said to A "Oh good, the laptops are still here."  then I made a pretend-terrified face and said "GAH.  What if they took my DRESS?"

She didn't miss a beat.  "You mean maybe that was the fashion police?"

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