Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Oh hi. Let's pretend that last post was a few short days ago

1. Wow.  I shouldn't be a writer, except for the fact that I am, and I can't fix that now.  I'm sort of stuck with it, but yikes.

2. I have been spending a lot of time inside my own head.  I have a vivid imagination and no self-discipline, which means that half the time I'm "writing" I'm actually staring off into middle distance thinking about supper and what would happen if I burned it and what if the fireman who came while the house was burning down looked exactly like my cousin Timmy and I called him by Tim's nickname (Boomer) and his eyes filled with tears because his brother was named Boomer and my dog bit him.  (that him can refer to anyone.  If I were critiquing that I would "referential ambiguity with the pronoun, yo" (without the "yo") but here I'm just sayin' "pick a him.  It's not like there was a narrative flow to start with.")

3. I have worked out that I might actually finish my book someday.  In fact, I have set myself a goal for when I will finish it, and thereby terrified myself into knitting and pretending my laptop has been sent away for repairs.

4. I am teaching a poetry class which is so much fun I can't stand it.  It's a little bit too much fun at the moment, but I'll get over that, and it'll go back to being just fun enough.  Maybe.

5. Yesterday afternoon I wound a small skein of cashmere into a wee ball to make a lovely lace scarf with.  Well yesterday afternoon and evening and long into the night.  I make a bit of a mess of it, and I was determined not to break the yarn.  It took ...a very long time ...but I am happy to report no yarn was broken in the winding of the cashmere.  For a lot of that time, I had good conversation and good company.  Then everyone wanted to go to sleep and I had just the dog, who was snoring.  And this morning I started the scarf I want to make with it, and lo, it is pretty.  And the three year old I look after looked at the pattern and at my scarf and said

"Oh I like the one in the picture better." and I compared the two and they were exactly the same.
"How is that possible?" I asked.
"Well I thought you were making a white one", she said.
"but I have blue yarn."
"Yeah, I was curious to see how blue wool could make a white scarf.  But" and she sounded just a bit disappointed in me "I guess you aren't even going to try that."

6.  I need to go do errands.  Like - now.  What are you hanging around here for?  Go read something profound about someone's deeply held beliefs.  What are you hanging around here for?

Monday, March 07, 2011

Monday Morning Conversation

Three year old:  Every time you eat a good breakfast, it makes your body feel like running and running and running.
Me:  huh.  Doesn't seem to work like that for me.
Three year old:  Oh Susan.  Every body is different.

Saturday, March 05, 2011

on balance ...

Today was a seriously good day.

I taught today, a workshop I've only taught once before (description here:  http://www.alexandrawriters.org/saturday.html - you'll have to scroll down) and there was a good group of people that got along well and we had a lot of fun besides.  Man I like teaching.
And then I came home and helped A with homework and folded laundry and cleaned up the kitchen and made supper (yes, in that order) and my brother said nice things to me over the phone and whoever is in charge of the Perpetual Novel planted some plot fine tuning in my head and ...

It's been a great day.

Friday, March 04, 2011


A, trying to convince me to help with her homework, (as I am making supper):  "You can be like my psychiatrist."

Me:  "How, exactly?"

A:  "You just say "Mmhmm" and write down what I say."


Dear Dog:
Wow.  Thanks for not chasing the deer that was on our lawn at 3 a.m.  You really DID have to go!

Dear Deer:
You are very pretty.  Hang out on my lawn any time.

Dear Weather:
You suck.

Dear Mean Person in My Dream:
a) the sweater I was making in my dream?  WOULD SO FIT ME.
b) I'm not making a sweater out here in the real world, and yet I am still annoyed with you.  How does that work?

Dear Child Who Intercepted The Call From The School Reporting Your Absence:
That is WAY up there on the Not Cool scale.

Dear Child Who Woke Me Up To Watch You Hurl Not Once, Not Twice, But Three Times Last Night:
I love you too.

Dear Universe:
Please be gentle with me today?  I'm low on reserves.

ETA:  Dear Blogger:  Seriously?  DO NOT EAT THIS POST.  Is "Publish" so tricky?

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Some things I've been thinking

1.  We are not the source of every hurt our children will suffer, nor are we meant to be the cure for them all.

2.  How do I love my children unconditionally?  What kinds of conditions exist only in my head, buried beneath hopes and expectations and thinking I knew what to expect?  How do I find out what they are and get RID OF THEM?