Friday, November 12, 2010

Lost and Found

My mother knit all through my childhood, with painstaking care.  She was not a fast knitter, but she enjoyed it.  She made sweaters and big thick mittens and wraps and shrugs and one year when I was in my late teens she made me a long white scarf.

I did not like the scarf.

It was exactly the right length and I liked the pattern and I liked the tassles on the end but - it had mistakes in it.  There were two rows of ribbing in the seed stitch border, and a few other glitches here and there.  I thanked her for it but inside I thought "Have some standards!"  (Teenager - not giving a parent a break.  Has never happened before or since)  I wore it but really ...it niggled.  I wanted to reknit one in the same pattern that was RIGHT.

I never did.

Two years ago, while my mother was undergoing a surgery that was supposed to kill her, I knit all day, and wondered where that white scarf had gone to.  Had I thrown it out?  Why oh why had I not tucked it away somewhere, why hadn't I treasured it?

She can't knit any more. 

Sometimes I lie awake at night thinking about the white scarf, probably the last thing she knit for me, and I want to go back and find that younger me and give her a good talking to.  I've searched the closet a dozen times looking for it, wracked my brain trying to remember when I finally threw it out.

Yesterday we spend some time working on tidying up our basement.  Mostly I sat in a chair and bossed people around, but at the end of the day, I went into the basement bedroom and saw a box of boots and winter wear that hadn't been gone through.

At the bottom of the box, underneath the old mitts and toques - a glint of white.

It's still the perfect length, and I still love the tassles.  And all those mistakes I remember are still there and ...

I couldn't care less.

Thanks for the scarf, Mom.  I hope it lasts a lifetime.

8 comments:

violet said...

...like I love the recipe book my mom made for me - wrote it by hand in her flowing script, occasionally leaving out the baking powder, or the eggs, scribbled some words out. The book is now patched with duct tape. Hang onto that scarf now, sweetie!

darien said...

oh, when i started reading this I was so hoping it would end with the scarf being found yesterday. I'm so glad that it did!

What an incredible gift.

Kay Day said...

awwwwww. This is wonderful!

Ruthie said...

Often, especially when I am making something for my children, I intentionally include a mistake. I may purposefully ignore one or put one in where there are none. It's a reminder to all of us that none are perfect except God.

Karen said...

What a treasure! Thanks for sharing :)

Colleen Taylor said...

Sigh.

Koala Bear Writer said...

Beautiful.

hulda44 said...

Hi Sue,

I apologize for using this forum to communicate but what happened to our S-game?

Colleen N