Friday, October 01, 2010

Don't Mind Me, It's Just the Kain Pillers

A piller of kain?  pillar of kain?

Shut up, narcotized brain.  Let me just say up front that while the medical profession is calling them painkillers, they're not killing the pain.  They're taking the edge off.  It's like they've sent the pain a sternly worded letter containing threats of Dire Consequences.

My pain is tougher than that.

Pain, you ask?  Well I thought it was sciatica that wasn't radiating down my leg but it turns out that that's pretty much what sciatica is, the radiating, and so that's not what it is.  The ER doctor flailed my limbs around for awhile and turned to the nurse and said "Write down 'acute sacroilitis' "

I invite you to google that.  Here's a phrase that'll give you a clue what my last few days have been like.  "Sacroiliitis can make it impossible to walk or move."  I think my particular manifestation of this is not necessarily inflammation due to infection, but inflammation due to the fact that my sacrum and my ilium have had a minor falling out, a strain, if you prefer.

Whatever you call it, an IV with enough Demerol and then some other kind of "ol" that was pushed fast enough to make the room spin did not erase the pain.  It maybe nailed it into a corner behind a barricade that it is busy kicking on as we speak.  I have had percocet and am now able to take two entire steps without screaming, muffled or otherwise.

So last night at two in the morning, when the spousal unit was unable to get me off the toilet without my screaming in pain - seriously, out loud, screaming - I called 911, and two big burly men came and made me walk out of my house anyway.  I can't even tell you how much fun that was.

Then they tried to give me morphine in the ambulance and I experienced Side Effects while the pain laughed and pointed.

A did not wake up when the ambulance arrived.

B woke up, noticed there was a tall stranger in his house, and backed away and gently closed his door.

The dog expressed her opinion and then tried to glue herself to my body.

TechnoBoy stuffed a few things in a bag for me.  "Get the knitting" I said.  He found things like my health care card and my wallet.  "I need knitting!"  Eventually he caught on that, agony or no agony, I wasn't leaving the house without something to knit.

Which brings me to today's Handy Tip From Those in The Know, that you will thank me for some day when you're in the ER waiting room waiting for someone to come and take you home, at noon ...

When you are inching your way down the stairs at 3 am, shaking and crying and moaning in pain, and your husband is packing a bag for you?  Less emphasis on the knitting, more emphasis on pants.

9 comments:

rachel said...

Ow! I hope that pain packs up ITS pants and goes back where it came from quick... it can even leave without its pants. We aren't picky.

A friend of mine was once given morphine after a bike accident. According to him, it doesn't make the pain go away at all, it just makes you stop caring very much that the pain is there.

Kay Day said...

Oh, Susan!
You know that back pain I've been whining about? Yep. That's it.
Only I wasn't smart enough to go get drugs.
I'm SO SORRY you are dealing with this. Believe me!

If your joint is hyper-mobile then get thee online and get an SI Lock right away. It makes a world of difference.

I'll pray for you.

Robin said...

OMG! So I'm reading and thinking oh geez that really sucks. Sharing in all your pain and suffering, empathizing and all that jazz...but I get to the end and I'm so sorry Susan but I cannot stop laughing. It's hard for me to even write this.

Hope you feel better soon. :)

odduck said...

my comment just disappeared.

I am sorry I missed the whole episode - I didn't do the Facebook thing the right way, I guess, and didn't get on to your story until now. (Well, ten minutes ago when I wrote the comment that disappeared.)

I pray for you... God gives us pain to let us know something is wrong. So now that you know what is wrong, can they fix it already? Do they at least give you a time when it will abate? Or is there anything else they can do? Big pain = big something wrong.

Sorry for sounding so trite when I recounted the half-dressed at the ironing board story. I had no idea that things had gotten worse since the weekend.

O Sue, if there was something I could do... I remember screaming at Larry once "IT ISN'T SUPPOSED TO FEEL THIS WAY!" because it isn't (Okay, God, fix it already!)

Know that you are loved and prayed for and that Jesus knows pain well and that tears are running down his cheeks... Hugs would hurt, so He won't squeeze too tight.

love you

Ruthie said...

I'm so sorry you are going through this...I've been there and wish neither of us have! When the EMTs got me into the ambulance the day I couldn't move off the side of the bed (and peed onto the floor because of said non-movement), they said they would go the "easy" route to the hospital. I think they hit every pothole in existence in the city!!

I am praying for you as best as I can in my own painkiller induced stupor. May God have mercy on ALL back pain sufferers.

Anonymous said...

Hang in there warrior girl. I'm amazed. Even in such straits you still have a sense of humour! Hugs. If you need anything (that I can do or get for you!) let me know! BB

Slow'n'Steady said...

The fun thing about watching you on Percoset is knowing that I will hear the story on your blog. You do not disappoint in either arena.

Joyce

P.S. We'll chat later about the things you don't remember. Bwahahahaha

Koala Bear Writer said...

If this is how you write when in pain, then you better get working on your novel... those are some darn good descriptions!!! :) Sorry to hear you're hurting so much and I hope the doctors can find a cure and not just a painkiller for you.

Rhonda said...

I am truly sympathizing with you while chuckling at your compulsive need for knitting over pants. No there is nothing that does more than take the edge off nerve pain but maybe you can get some Gabapentin to Partially stop the spasms (auto correct kept trying to change this to spamming which is a great definition for this unwanted pain that keeps coming) at the source if you are going to have to deal with it for awhile. Don't need this! Prayers and hugs.