Friday, February 19, 2010

Checking in

1. Conversation with my mother:

Me: "Want to come to (sporting event your grandchild is in)?"

Mom: "I don't know. How dress would I have to warm?"

I take a few seconds to parse that.

Me: "It depends on weather the what is like."

2. Conversation with an 11 year old boy (not mine, who is only ten)

Me: "So what is up with that running-away-when-you're-upset thing? You're not the only boy that does it. Can you explain what's going on in the boy brain when that happens?"

Boy: "How should I know??? (pause) It's probably puberty! (longer pause) You think boys are just made of strength and muscle and no tears?? You are living in the wrong universe!"

3. Conversation with myself:

Me #1: Hey look, the Yarn Harlot is having a knitting olympics! You should totally start a new project just for that!

Me #2: I still have one sock to knit for D's Christmas present.

Me #1: Yeah but T is having a baby. You totally need to make that baby something.

Me #2: Yes, yes I should. I even want to.

Me #1: Yippee!! Yarn shopping!!!

Me #2: Well we'll also need a new needle.

Me #1: Addi! A new Addi circ!! I love Olympics!!

(time passes. Money may or may not be spent.)

Me #2: Okay where's that pattern?

Me #1: Well it's right here, but I've been thinking ...

Me #2: How odd. I thought I was the thinker.

Me #1: My turn! Don't you have an awful lot of stuff on the needles? Are you sure you should be starting something new?

Me #2: The handy thing with these Addi circs is you could theoretically use them to throttle someone ...

Me #1: Here. Finish this blanket you promised to R&S.

Me #2: I think that was two blankets. Lap blankets. I may have even said "Have two, they're small."

Me #1: No, I said that. You're not that clever.

Me #2: okay so I'll finish both of these?

Me #1: don't forget D's Christmas sock.

Me #2: A challenge! I love a challenge! Can I finish two blankets and a sock before the end of the Olympics???

Me #3: Right after you finish this here scarf.

Me #'s 1 and 2: Where did YOU come from?

Stay tuned for Conversation With the Professional I Pay To Integrate the Voices in My Head.


darien said...

my goodness...I thought I could keep up with you. And I often can...but not with the schizo you! :-)

Colleen Taylor said...

I can hardly wait to read the post you write after our St. Patty's day visit to the court room!

Ruthie said...

Are you sure you aren't documenting the conversations going on in MY head about the Knitting Olympics??? LOL

Koala Bear Writer said...

So I'm not the only one who talks to myself. :) (did I just say that?)