Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Live Blogging the Service Call

Okay so they HAVE been good to me, what with the whole "replace the hard drive faster than it takes to talk about it" thing but ...wow. When the recorded message starts "For service in Spanish ..." it gives one pause. Not so much Spanish where I'm from.

ok they answered the phone. This is not necessarily a good thing, because the first time I got to talk to a human being today, they told me I was talking to Tech Support for businesses, not Tech Support for the home.

The second time I talked to a human being, he said "Thank you for calling D*ll. Welcome to the XPS Experience. My name is Robin. How can I help you?"

I explained that the left click key on my touchpad is broken.

He said "Thank you for calling D*ll. Welcome to the XPS Experience. My name is Robin. How can I help you?"

I re-explained the problem. Guess what he said?

"Thank you for calling D*ll. Welcome to the XPS Experience. My name is Robin. How can I help you?"

I made it simpler. "Broken key on touchpad."

You will never GUESS what he said.

"Thank you for calling D*ll. Welcome to the XPS Experience. My name is Robin. How can I help you?"

After I answered this question SIX times, he said "Okay you have a nice day now." and HUNG UP.


ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Oh here's another human.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Apparently I am talking to Tech Support, for the Home, for the DESKTOP. I will be transferred to the LAPTOP support now.

Hello laptop people. Yes I can give you my service tag number, because I have given it to people in more countries than I can count by now. Yes, my computer is STILL the same model number it was 5 seconds ago, and yes, the touchpad key is still broken, and it is still the left one.

Thank you for letting me know ahead of time that you will let me know if I need any replacement parts. Unless a touchpad key can regrow tiny clippie thingies, lizardlike, I will need a replacement part, but you're the expert.

Yes, hi. No, the model number of my computer has not changed. No, the touchpad key has not fixed itself. Yes, I'd love it if you'd transfer me to someone else, because I don't even have to turn this puppy over anymore to get the Service Tag number. I will say, however, if I get Robin again, it may be MAC time at the Plett house.

Am listening to dead air. Have caught you all up on the experience to date. Am going to knit a dishcloth (or maybe more than one) while I am transferred to the Tech Support for Small but Crucial Touchpad Mouse Parts.

Hello nameless person. Yes, I can still wait while you try to transfer me. What's another half an hour in the big picture?

Listening to dead air again. Hope he comes back to give me the phone number he's trying to transfer me to BEFORE he cuts me off. Hope with me, won't you?

Knitting ....

Oh he's going to give me a different number to call.

Okay Susan?
Yes, give me the number.
Okay are you ready for the number?
You have no idea how ready, sir.
Okay so here's the number, but first, Susan?
yes?
Is there anything else I can help you with?
No, thank you.
Okay here is the number. (The number is given.)
And also, Susan?
Yes?
You have a nice day now.

Dialling a fourth number. Hey my call may be monitored. Bonne chance with that, Robin!

Annnnnnnnnnnnd here's another voice. Missed the name.

Left key on touchpad broken.

There is typing. Service tag no. No, that's not it. Nope, 5D not D5. Yes.

Much reciting of information.

Tech: When was the problem occurred?

Me: Huh? oh - yesterday.

Follows much confusing English, annnd guess WHAT?

I'm being TRANSFERRED.

To the out of warranty help desk, in case you're still reading.

Talking to Billy now. This is only for US customers.

He's going to transfer me.

(aside: I AM TOTALLY NOT MAKING THIS UP)

When I am old and doddering and in a nursing home, I will be reciting my service tag number. Am now talking to Cam, who appears to have at least a passing acquaintance with the same first language I do.

Giving names, phone numbers, e-mail addresses. Or rather, I am - Cam is reticent.

Cam is looking through my computer details. Thank you Cam.

Cam is now telling me the name and model no of my computer, so apparently he was listening to me.

Ok now I am just a little steamed. THEY DON'T REPLACE TOUCHPAD KEYS?!?!?!? Are you KIDDING ME????? I need to go knit a row so I don't yell at Cam, who really needs to stop thanking me for my patience before I can reach my knitting.

Knit two rows, still steamed. I may actually be riled enough to clean something.

Have hung up.

They will be happy to ship me an $80 part, which I can then take to a local technician to have put in OR I can ship my computer to them (have I mentionned this is KEY? on the touchpad???) and they can replace it for $250.

Time for a USB mouse, I'd say.

7 comments:

darien said...

yeah! or a mac :-)

Karen said...

I can so relate to this. I purchased a new laptop from said company and the first one they sent me had a defective disc drive thing-a-ma-jiggy. I called to report it and to request a replacement. I don't think I had the pleasure of speaking with anyone with simple names like Robin or Cam, and I am pretty sure I didn't get to speak with anyone on my continent...

Between their "support" and windows vista, mac is looking better and better.

Kay Day said...

This is sorta similar to the experience I had trying to find out who could get the dead deer out of my yard. Although my experience was far less frustrating and I think faster. But still I did talk to a lot of people.
I'm being quiet about the computer thing. You don't want to hear it.
I have a wireless mouse, though. It's pretty cool.

Carolyn said...

Isn't tecnology just the greatest invention of ALL time? Ah-hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa????????-- NOT! Well, maybe a little yes...BUT ONLY, and I mean ONLY "WHEN IT WORKS". I've been down that weird path of phone calls n' people...only to have nothing resolved. They get paid for that ya know. Wish I could.

Koala Bear Writer said...

Ah yes, telephone menus and CSRs... good thing you had some knitting. Sometimes the elevator isn't even nice (and sometimes it's loud enough you don't need to turn the speaker phone on when you put the phone down...).

violet said...

Oy!!

LC said...

Were you, by chance, praying for patience? If so, silly girl.