Monday, December 07, 2009

The best laid plans (also if you do not knit, this may not be the entry for you)

No, AP, no, I tell myself*. Keep. It. Simple.

And somewhere the knitting fairies rub their tiny little hands together and chortle with glee.

It started with dishcloths. I was going to make eight dishcloths, give them to people who admitted they would use them, and that was going to be IT. I made one, and then another one, and then dishcloth cotton went on sale:

(note the look on the dog's face. Doesn't she look delighted?) and hahahaha I'm sure you'll all find this as amusing as I do - most of those aren't even for Christmas. If I sell a thousand of those puppies, I can make a mortgage payment! (in Reality I have no idea what our mortgage payment is, but in anticipation of the scolding you will all give me for that, I'm totally asking TechnoMoneyManager the next time I see him. Or he can just read this and shout it out to me from his office. No need to shake any virtual fingers, Internet.)

So then I thought I'd knit a (secret item) out of leftover yarn from a scarf. There was only one skein left, so it would be quick. So I knit half the (secret item) and thought ...well that's knitting up a bit loose, I'll do it again, but with two strands of yarn. So I pulled from the center of the ball and the outside of the ball and I didn't like the way the colour changes were matching up - kinda muddy. Not pretty. And this is silk/merino blend - it deserves to be pretty.

So logically** the only thing to do was wind the entire ball two strands together until I hit the middle, snip the yarn, wind the two strands into separate balls, and then wind one of THOSE balls in the other direction, check the colour matchups, AND rewind it all in two strands again. Here's how that went:

Although I eventually did get it all done, even the knitting, despite the voice in my head*** whispering LET IT GO as I tried to decide how exactly to modify the pattern so that I wouldn't run out of yarn. I only started over twice. Or three times. Or maybe four, but I'm really bad at math so I lost count.

So that's ...hardly any Christmas knitting, but that's okay because I can just do it on the drive home. I have fourteen hours. Although I did finish a sock for my SIL, and if you haven't tried it on, you're not the SIL that's getting it. Do you know how long it takes to make a sock? A very very long time. I do love you all that much, you SILs who read this blog, but I would need to know that you would WEAR a handknitted pair of socks before I could emotionally commit to it.

Also I have knitted a purple hat for my niece that was so ugly I almost burned it. But then I realized I could rip it out and try to fix what was wrong with it twice, and then make a poncho. She's four. Should the poncho have a hood, do you think, or a seed stitch collar that I design myself (hahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaha) or shall I leave the neck edge the way it is? It's a fine neck edge now. Also if you are the mother of my four year old purple-loving niece, could you measure her neck from that bony knobby bit down to wherever a poncho should end, and fire me off an e-mail? Much appreciated.

And in other knitting news, I accidentally let TechnoBoy stay in the room last night while A and I went through my sock yarn discussing what yarn she would consent to wear socks made out of. There was a look on his face I'm not particularly fond of, so figuring I may as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb, I picked up the purple knitpicks freebie sock yarn I got and starting petting it and purring. They're both suddenly treating me a lot more *carefully*.

ETA: TechnoBoy encourages me to consider the terms "net" and "gross" when attempting to make the mortgage payments through the sale of knitwear.

*This is a lie. I call myself Susan. When I use a name, and not a descriptor.

**TechnoBoy: "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

***TB: "That'd be the voice of reason, honey."


TB said...


Koala Bear Writer said...

Reminds me of when my cross-stitch yarn gets tangled and I'm trying to get it unwound to a single strand... or two, I think, for most projects I work on. Hey, I should get that out again, becuase my last project was a Christmas banner... you're infesting me with stitching fever. :)

Ruthie said...

Just found your blog (through Angie Hunt's blog...she reads yours!) and LOVED this post!! I, too, am a knitter and I couldn't help but chuckle over the tangled yarn. Are you sure you aren't me?? LOL

Aneta said...

This post made me laugh out loud! I knit, too, -- socks, hats, scarves, mitts... and could relate to your thoughts so much!
Found you by following others' blogs. It's a good read!