Sunday, September 20, 2009

so here's a question

"Thoughts are seeds of future deeds", the pastor said last Sunday, and I thought about how all my life I had imagined my mother telling me that my father had died, if such an unthinkable thing could happen, that he would go first, and my imagined reaction was always disbelief, denial. I have an active brain. There's a lot going on in there, any given day. I imagined this many many times.

When I got the call?

"What do you mean he has no pulse???" I screamed at her. "That is my FATHER."

Today I'm wondering - would it have happened that way anyway, or was I subconsciously training myself to react that way?

If so, what else am I subconsciously training myself to do?

"...take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Cor 10:5

2 comments:

darien said...

it surprised me a little, reading about your reaction to your dad's death--caught between your mother over reacting and the truth of it all. I just realized that that is how I am reacting to my brother's heart attack, only he didn't die.

I love you. I remember that day very well, though I can't believe how long ago it was. We'll chat about that sometime. You said something that resonated with me and changed me.

Kay Day said...

But that can work for the positive, too. Predetermination.
If ever asked to deny my faith, I've practiced what I will say.
I've imagined myself in many different scenarios and some of them I have experienced some of the scenarios and been thankful that I knew exactly how to respond.
So, it's a two sided coin.