Thursday, May 28, 2009

mourn with me

I've just had to cut "Corbin's eyes sought Kirna's, shuttered behind obstinate lids." and replace it with ...

Sigh ...

"She closed her eyes."

ETA: It gets worse. She doesn't close her eyes at all. She keeps clearing the table. All we have now is:

"Corbin's eyes sought Kirna's. She shrugged."

And I have a sneaking suspicion that whole eyes seeking eyes thing may need to go as well.

Deleting things isn't helping the word count at ALL.

1 comment:

Colleen Taylor said...

Why did you have to delete/edit the whole eyes thing NOW rather than later?