Friday, February 13, 2009

For better or worse

Sunday was not my finest hour, wife and mother wise. To say that I am sick to the back teeth of this whole mother-in-the-hospital, yes-she-does-appear-to-have-something-amiss-if-we-could-just-figure-out-what thing is not only long-winded but understated. She's tired of it, I'm tired of it, and I can't shake the feeling that it's pure selfishness on my part to rail against going up there every day, an hour round trip, oh poor healthy me, having to be unselfish. Friday morning she woke up when I came in and said "Mom?" and I said, "No, it's just me" and she sagged against the pillows, deflated, and said "I want my mother."

So do I, I thought. So do I.

Sunday when I was done throwing things and yelling and crying and then apologizing to everyone I'd traumatized, I thought I bet my kids want their mother too.

Monday I hung up on TechnoLongSuffering not once, not twice, but three times. Three out of three times *I* called *him* only to spit something sarcastic at him and slap my phone down mere moments later. Some rational shred of who I am whispered "God? I think I am at the end of my capacity to cope here." but that's as far as the reaching for self-control went. I had to teach a class that night, which went astonishingly well and was energizing and distracting and driving home I realized I hadn't thought about The Hospital one single time, and I got out determined to Be Kind if it killed me. I came in prepared to apologize and be a grown up and walked into the kitchen ...and there were flowers.

He bought me flowers.

I hung up on HIM, and he bought me flowers.

I hung up on him THREE TIMES, and he bought me flowers.

If that's not loving your wife like Christ loves the church, I don't know what is.


darien said...

okay, that actually made me tear up. I love your hubby, you know that....but somehow I never imagined him with flowers. That is exceptionally sweet, and I love him more right now. Way to go husband of my friend!!!

Karen said...

Awwwww! Thanks for sharing. It is reassuring to know that men such as this do exist. What a great role model for B. and A.

Trish said...

What a blessing! **hugs** This too shall pass, it will be ok! Love ya!

jbondsgirl said...

Oh my very dear! I knew there was a reason you've been on my mind these last few days. I've been praying for you and for your mother extra hard.

TechnoBoy is teh awesome and then some. So glad he is your helpmate in all of this. Like Christ loved the church indeed!

Just sending love.

Heather said...

Well done, Technobrother!

violet said...

Ooooh my. My heart goes out... Here's a {{{hug}}}