Monday, May 05, 2008

Hey, I know. I'll talk about my trip to the castle.

So I had this benchmark epiphanological (don't you love that word? I made it myself) moment at Glen Eyrie last week and then had several days of reflection/feverish scribbling/thinking till my head exploded to process it. Here's my last take away.

I used to think I'd have a breakdown now and then, but eventually, sometime in my adulthood, I would have dealt with all the things that hold me back from being who I'm created to be, and it would be smooth sailing from there on out. (Why I thought that I don't know, but who cares? "Why?" is the wrong question. :) )

Here's what I think now. I think it's about equipping. I think that as life winds on "like a bewildering and stupendous dream", I will consistently be called to new things, things outside my comfort zone, and because of who I am, I will consistently meet those new challenges with terror. When I get to a point where I need a complete breakdown in order to get to a place where I can be equipped to do "the work God has prepared for me to do*", I will have a breakdown of some degree.

This is who I am.

I can live with that.

And now, I have a book to write. And after that, probably another one.

*(that's in the Bible. Somewhere. I have to leave for work in 2 minutes, so I'm not looking up the reference.)


Vacant Uterus said...

Sounds about right to me. :-)

BettyJ said...

And the attribution for "a bewildering and stupendous dream" which I've always loved goes to John Cheever. At the end of a short story somewhere.... he wonders how mere fiction could "hope to celebrate a world that lies spread out around us like a bewildering and stupendous dream."
Hold tight to the epiphany!

bhb said...

"epiphanological" - is that a "logical epiphany"? If so, I might like it too! :-)

darien said...

my favorite part? "I will consistently meet those new challenges..." I'm ignoring the rest of the sentence on purpose.

It doesn't matter how, it only matters that you do it.

Kay said...

I am a little dismayed to discover that I have an idea for another book.

But, yes, as you kept saying, He will equip those He calls. Both of us. All of us.