Friday, February 08, 2008

Middle of the Night Conversation

TechnoBoy: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
 
Me: Buddy.  Roll over on your side.
 
Repeat about 700 times.
 
Me:  Remember  how you said the next time this happened, I should just ask you to move to the couch, and you'd go?  So we would both get a bit of sleep?
 
TechnoBoy:  Ok.  ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
 
Repeat three times.
 
Cue maniacal laughter (mine)   "Sweetie.  Do you have a clue what I'm saying?"
 
TB:  I love you too.
 
I lie there and plan a blog entry entitled "The One Where I Realize There Are People Who Are Sleeping Alone, And Yes, I Am Lucky."
 
That gets me through another half an hour.
 
TB: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ 
 
And then he rolled over, and started moaning and snoring simultaneously.
 
Still a small price to pay for getting to be his wife.

10 comments:

Jen said...

You are a crack up! I love it! Can I add you to my blog?

Heather said...

That's when I thank God for CPAP machines!

Vacant Uterus said...

LOL! This is why Sarge now just starts in the guest room. It breaks my heart; I hate to sleep away from him but for three straight years I got no sleep. The baggage under my eyes needed checking every time we traveled. (Ma'am, do you have any concealed weapons in there? Sawed off shotgun? A tank? No?) I'm a much better wife with eight hours under my belt.

I love Heather's comment, even though the CPAP didn't work for us!

Kay said...

Mine has a CPAP and it is a blessing, not only because it is adding years to his life, but because, you know, what you said.

But we do have occasional conversations that go like this,..
whoooooooooshshhhhhhh.
Honey, your mask is loose.
whoooooooooshsshshhhshshshhh
Honey, roll over or fix your mask...

you get the idea. Problem sorta solved, but not really.

Jen said...

Okay, I know I already left a comment but I totally forgot about my story about snoring. For about a year and a half of my preteen years, my parents, brother and I lived with my grandma in her trailer. So, there we were, three adults, two kids, two cats and a dog all stuffed into a 2 bedroom double-wide. I had the 'privilege' of sharing a room with my parents; they had the king and I had a twin. I'm a light sleeper, my dad's an earsplitting snorer. One night, after months of misery, I'd finally had enough. I got out of bed, went over to my dad and yelled his name over and over until he finally woke up. "Turn over" I said. "Sorry, honey," he said. Two minutes later, he was sawing logs again. I was so mad that I literally threw a hissy-fit in my bed. Pounding fists, kicking legs, tossing head. In the mist of my fury, I hear laughter! I look over, my dad and his audacious self was cracking up. He thought it was the funniest thing...needless to say, he didn't snore again that night.

darien said...

well, you KNOW that I sympathize....but let me ask this: did B say that there is a monster in the house, like he did when he was here??

Kassi said...

I'm at the point I can usually ignore the snoring. It's a little harder to ignore the times he rolls over, shakes me awake, gets me out of bed to "sweep away the spiders or the broken glass" and then lets me back in bed. The snoring usually starts up pretty much immediately, and I get to lie there wide awake til the alarm goes off ...

Kay said...

Susan, there's a little something for you at my blog. You'll have to scroll down a bit.

The Koala Bear Writer said...

Hilarious! :) I keep getting comments from anyone who's had to share a room with my husband about how can I sleep with him? I guess I'm lucky to be a sound sleeper... we found out on the honeymoon that I can sleep through his snoring and he can sleep through my coughing (I had a bad cold and spent an hour one night hacking away while he snored on...). Ah, marital bliss. :)

Slow'n'Steady said...

thanks for the laugh.

and the reality check: it's all about perspective.

for some others, that would have been cause for divorce.

I like your ending better.