Monday, July 09, 2007


Every once in a while I read something that sticks with me forever, and forever changes the way I understand the world.

Nancy Rue's book Tristan's Gap was one such read. It wasn't so much the story line (although that was strong, compelling and believable) or the memorable characters or the lovely writing, although all those things were present. It was the concept the title was based on, which, roughly worded comes to this:

We do the best we can for our children, and keep our consciences clear before God, and try to provide as much of what they need as we can. And God, in His infinite measureless mercy, fills in the gap between what we can provide and what our children need.

What I love is how every now and then He lets me, the praying parent, see where He's doing that. Once it was a chance meeting that, unknown to me, one of my children had been praying fervently for. If we hadn't been held up that day, it never would have happened, but God orchestrated the answer to my child's prayer.

Yesterday our guinea pig died. Now I've thought for months that this pig has been largely ignored, but one of my children, especially, is taking the loss very hard. (I'd tell you more but then it would be clear which child it is, and then when they read this blog fifteen years from now, I'll be in trouble.) It's been a difficult day - lots of temper flare ups and not wanting to eat and wanting to be where I am every waking moment. We did get a chance to talk about some of the fears the spectre of death has aroused, and we spent lots of time hanging out in the same room together. Breathing. Not dead, together. And after we'd talked as much as we were going to tonight, the phone rang. Friends we haven't seen in over a year, friends we've missed but weren't able to see for reasons beyond anyone's control - inviting my children to spend the afternoon with them tomorrow.

And there's a child upstairs falling asleep to visions of friends and swimming pools instead of lying awake in the dark missing the friendly squeak of a carrot-obsessed guinea pig.

I'm so glad we don't have to make this journey down here alone.


ccap said...

Me too.

Kay said...

Oh, I haven't read that yet. But I sure do constantly count on that "gap filling" for I believe there is such a huge gap to fill!
Yes, I am so glad we parents are not alone in this.

LC said...

He does fill the gaps, and because He lives in us, we do it for one another. Thanks for being a great gap-filler yourself!

Heather said...

Nicely said.

Kay said...

Also, I am so sorry for the grief in your house.
Pet grief is very real grief.

Valerie Dykstra said...

sorry about your pet, but rejoicing with you that we are not alone. on a side note, my kids love reading my blog. they read it for hours at a time so proud when they're mentioned. my purpose in blogging is largely to present them all with a book about our lives, their lives. in this house, the more i mention their names on my blog, the better. different outlooks, eh?