Saturday, July 07, 2007

Letters

Dear People Who Hand Out Mother of the Year Awards:

I gave my family Dairy Queen Blizzards for supper last night and got away with it. Just leave a comment here about where to pick up my prize.

Love
Me

Dear Vet,

Oh very funny. "Just wrap him up like this" you said, neatly turning my guinea pig into a burrito in 12.6 seconds. "Make sure his front paws are constricted - and then - just like this, squirt the medicine in. And you'll feed him like this 4 times a day until he starts eating again, and oh yes, the vitamin C goes in that way too."

Six different force feedings a day, you said, and you were smiling. I think you slipped into the back room and doubled over with laughter when I left with my little sack of syringes and goop.

I would also like to know: If you'd already fed him one serving of Critical Care Force Fed Junk, why is there none on his front paws or up his nose or all over his ears? Because there are copious quantities of it there now. I'm thinking of just bathing him in it, and letting him lick it off. Although, as you've pointed out, all he seems interested in doing at the moment is lying around shrinking.


Love
Also Covered in Force Feeding Goop

2 comments:

Kay said...

I let my kids have ice cream for breakfast yesterday. That gives them hours to run off the sugar.

I'm so sorry. But I have tagged you for seven random things.
See my blog for rules.
www.loopdeloops.blogspot.com

Simon said...

Hi. Been nearly a year since I posted on the Stories from the classroom blog and today your comment showed up. I hate that I don't write much anymore. Maybe when I retire, but then what would I have to write about??? How do you find the discipline to write every day?