Sunday, May 06, 2007

Who gave that woman a dog? and why won't she stop writing letters to it?

Dear Puppy,

(never mind how old she is - she's 12 lbs. She'll be a puppy forever)

Thank you for learning not to eat goose poop. Now could you stop rolling in it, please?

Sorry I let the big mean goose attack you at the park today. I thought it was the best way for you to figure out that they do not want to play with you, and the fluffy yellow thing they have with them is not a stuffed animal, no matter how interesting it looks. I'm hoping that in a day or two you will stop yelping when you see geese on the path.

Yes, I will drop the leash and let you run your legs off. No, I do not believe you will catch a robin. Please forgive this lack of faith in you. Please notice that cats catch birds by sneaking up on them. Cats do not define "sneaking" as "running top speed and barking, with your leash bouncing behind you".

I know we were gone for three days and the kids had school and soccer and and and but that does NOT give you the right to pee on the floor every time you see me talking to the guinea pig.

Also the guinea pig is not a puppy and does not want to play with you. Also it has very long sharp teeth and will bite harder than a goose, who didn't even really bite you, you big baby.

Don't eat the bird bones the cats leave on the ground, please.

Don't eat dirty kleenexes you find in the street.

The bedroom garbage is not a Chew Toy Storage bin. Drop that! And that! Is that my underwear in your mouth???

Can I interest you in some goose poop??

the one that walks you

ps thanks for snorting for joy when I come home. Have a treat. Sorry it doesn't smell worse.


Judy said...

You are TOO TOO funny!

Kassi said...

Jema "snuck up" on a seagull once ... and then had no idea what to do with it once she'd caught it !!!

Angela said...

Love this! Fellow dog lovers understand. :-)