Monday, May 21, 2007

Ways to Get SideTracked Writing A Novel

1. Spend a week wondering how old is too young to get married in this world you've created.

2. Spend some more time wondering if you have a 14 yr old protagonist whose father gets killed in the first three chapters, is that YA fiction? And if it's YA, are people allowed to get married, or does that make it no longer YA? but if they don't get married, how can they give birth to the two children who figure largely in Novel #2. (yes, I know. Shut up.)

3. Spend half an hour trying to decide if you need the word "diminishing" before "mob".

4. Try to figure out what the dog is crunching on. (turned out to be a small vial of frankincense - I'd call the vet but I'm pretty sure "the dog ate my frankincense" isn't a question they get on a daily basis)

5. Blog.

6. Read it out loud to your half asleep husband and ask him if the redemptive analogy is working. When he says "Huh?", spend half an hour rethinking the entire novel with your right brain, while your left brain laughs at you because you KNOW how dopey he is in the morning.

7. Give the kids chore lists that have to be enforced.

8. Decide that RIGHT NOW is the time to figure out where on earth all the Adventures in Odyssey DVD's are.

9. Beg for coffee.

10. Write this whole scene where Brynn asks Kharfel a million questions as they carry his dying father through the forest and then think - but wait. Would Brynn be asking all these questions at a time like this? (I know I would - I get through pain by cocooning myself in information, more and more and more of it.) As you sit stupefied at your computer trying to answer that question ....

11. Have your husband finally wake up and tell you he wants you to go to Home Depot with him.

ARGH. At least Brynn's Dad is half-dead. Kharfel is carting him through the forest as you read this. For all I know, Kharfel could be carting him through the forest for the rest of the week, because I am getting hauled away from this computer now and who knows when I'll get back?


Kay said...

Have you seen the Sponge Bob where he has to write an essay? You should if you haven't. Every writer should.

Vacant Uterus said...

Sounds exciting...I can't wait to read it! You could send drafts to me...I'm awake....

Accidental Poet said...

Thanks Flicka - I may just take you up on that someday!