Wednesday, March 14, 2007

GAH! and also BLARG!


Apparently I aspire to write complete crap. However, crap can be editted.

Also why does the dog insist on pulling garbage out of the garbage cans and chewing it to shreds? She is messing with my mind - she has gotten the SAME THING out of the garbage EIGHT TIMES IN A ROW and she'll come trotting over to where I am, to bask in the glow of my presence and eat used tissue, and I'll take it away. And she will pretend to find something else to do and the second I am back to writing complete drivel, there she is with more used Kleenex, which she nonchalantly drops the second I realize she has it. I give up. I'm giving her an empty box to chew to shreds. I have crap* to write, and she's interfering with the blessed creative process.

And why aren't my children asleep yet?

*Oh I'm sure it's not crap, you're thinking.** Here's a choice bit:

So Brynn stands there holding the bowl and lo his head is filled with many visions and wonders and what the heck are all those people named anyway? Can I just make up names or should I get a baby name book? And does the song that flits into his head have to be any GOOD? Who can I get to write a song? Oh MusicBoyyyyyy ...I need a song that has a bunch of obscure names in it and then some sort of reason to pop into someone's head if he's holding a bowl. Get right on that will you?

And then Brynn's mother somehow has to be noticed and she has to let her disapproval be known but she's going to go along with it because if she doesn't, there's no story. And how much can Corbin tell him in one day because we all know he's getting offed tonight.

Okay that's enough - I don't want you all to faint in the face of my brilliance. I bet you all can't WAIT to read it.

**Or maybe you're not, but in that case, pffflllllt

Editted to add: Also, the bowl Brynn is holding is different from the bowls he's been holding for six months while I try to figure out what he says to Linden when he first meets her. Apparently I am writing an entire novel around the act of holding bowls.

Ok I think I've made enough fun of myself to be able to continue. Tune in to tomorrow to find out what other kitchenware Brynn can handle.***

***Brynn just rolled his eyes at me. Teenager.


Kassi said...

Honey, it's not crap ... it's compost. And out of compost, roses grow. A very wise woman told me that once :)

ccap said...

Good one, kassi!

An 8 letter word verification?! Come on! That's almost more letters than my (original) comment!

Kay said...

well, I'll tell you what - it piqued my interest. That's what we're supposed to do, right?
I want to know if Brynn (is that right) can handle an egg beater at the same time that he hold the bowl.

Heather said...

Just think of all the things you could name the book...

"If life's a bowl full of cherries.."

"Bowling for... hmmm... dollars? Columbine?...trying to come up with something clever here"

"Left holding the bowl"

"Bowl me over"

"Meet me at the super bowl"

"Just a bowl full of sugar makes the medicine go down."

"Pass me the bowl, Brynn"

"Brynn, get your mind out of the clouds and wash the @#$@! dishes already!" (okay, that one's kinda lame, but I was running out of ideas)

Slow'n'Steady said...

you bowl me over.


you've been reading ZITS haven't you?

Somebody told Andrew the secret of goaltending was to relax and have fun. It may work for novels too.

You're teasing us to build up the suspense. Keep going down that slippery slope, you'll soon be having him hold his bowels.

I love your writing.